bike maintenance .....

just about strong enough to lift my new bike maintenance book - it surely is a weighty tome!!!!

I will share all my most useful tips with you Sauce ..

but at this point I'm so flush with success from setting up my indoor trainer AND Garmin cadence monitor I fail to see what else I need to know ;)

what else am I going to do on a wet afternoon?

baaad race tee shirts:















good race tee shirts.... or wearable at least :)

Yo Sauce ..... I'm all set to bike through the winter .....

we will be back soon.....

hang in there ...
we are working our butts off! right Sauce?


'till 4th Jan ... then we need to get ready for a February 1/2 marathon.... Uh Oh... that came up fast.....

Happy Holidays
XXX

bought a book about bikes Sauce... it's not helping much!

give up the pepsi Sauce!

you need coconut water...

any idea?

now the weather is too cold to get many sightings of men in ridiculously short, short running shorts... lets just look at the rest of the coffee shop morning regulars and ask WTF?

cluttered!

Sauce - I need to get from this:











to this ....














if I am going to use my bike for work i need a more professional look ...

now you know how i feel while running....

Perhaps, three consecutive days of swimming is something you shouldn't be doing, dipshit! No sympathy from Sauce here. However, I'm a far better runner than you are a swimmer. :)

Thanks for the tip on the AB Circle. I'll let you know when I have abs of steel.

As for the Bumpits. What can I say? I think I'd call them "Bum Pits" instead of "Bump Its"...

And yes, I do actually look that good at the finish line. We can't all have it so let it go Road. You're talents are in other areas....

i'm a conflicted runner ... help me out Sauce!

here I am - smelling of chlorine with legs that do not want to climb any stairs ... every swim session reminds me running is the best part bike a close 2nd and swim a distant 3rd ... I'm trying so hard this week I have swum 3 consecutive days and after a really long shower plus body lotion my skin still smells of chlorine UG!
swim guy was warm and fuzzy today... after Sundays bike wipeout (did I tell you about that?) he lay off my arms and GROAN (test leg movement) 'concentrated on my kick' for a full hour ...

this might help you?

you have the same hair colour as this woman Sauce - looks like she has swimmers shoulders too :)

things could be worse, Road!!!!

Hey Road, does the fact that you have no ass give you the right to pick on those of us who do? Gain some weight and you to can cast a shadow like me....

difficult Monday folks!

I came stiffly around the corner of our favourite cafe and WTF is Sauce doing?



















the wall shadow is not flattering there Sauce! makes you look a little large in the arse perhaps?

















Ahhhh..... sorry - though you were just stretching out... rather than trying to cope with the head cold from hell... was its the elderberry and echinacea cordial that made you buy this .. thought you went to the pharmacy for tissues? seriously worried here Sauce!











bitter and twisted today.. I forgot how much it hurts to wipe out on my bike thankfully no pics of that! but the aftermath is making me move like a plank of wood...
and yet another tee shirt splits under the strain of my growing upper back... we need some warm fuzzies folks ... or new tee shirts.....
















my last growl of the day.. how can she make it all the way to the run and still look hot?

















Hmmmm - pain + head cold + monday = PMS?

what's your poison Sauce?

I sat giggling like a fool in our favourite coffee shop at lunchtime today reading 'Triathlete' Magazine.

just one question posed in a short article set me off - totally exposes pro-triathletes as crazies!

Q: what do pro ironman competitors crave in their build up to a race?

A:"scarfing a couple of vicodin stuffed into my favourite chocolate croissants sprinkled with sea salt while watching a Victoria Secrets runway show" anon

I would stuff the vicodin into something else, wash it down with beer ... and could probably watch something a little less wholesome than a Victoria Secrets runway show...But I get it ...

Triathlete Mag summarises:
"They (Iron Man competitors) share visions of grandeur beyond whatever greatness they've already achieved, and they are still in awe of the sport that can humble them in the blink of an eye"

so ...Sauce- if you come across a pro, waylaid by pain, cramping, covered in snot, injured or in GI distress ... Remember he or she is just having fun

PS: does that last photo not show you exactly why you need those blond roots sorting? ... might want to loose those horizontal stripes too!

Trizophrenia !!!

not a runner??

Yo Road, you made it very clear the other day that I'm not a runner. Do you recall saying that? Well, looks like I'm gaining on your sorry ass!!

dog biscuits...

nice leisurely ride yesterday, a perfect day. how is it that everything opened up and became so clear? i'm going with the dog biscuits. who cares about the taste, mission accomplished. well done Road...everything looked like this. hmmmm......

thought we'd use these....

Road, I found the perfect tool for nipple ring removal....

an assisted bike ride...

just some snaps from Sunday... how perfect was the ride Sauce?
































we started after an espresso/cubano boost at our fave coffee shop......














and I know you were laughing BUT still secretly enjoyed my home made spice cookies....













the clarity of light was amazing.













what are you trying to say ?

way to go J Lo!

see - triathlon is not
a glamorous sport ... and whaddya know - wet suits are NOT flattering on ANY shape ... so happy

how ARE you going to get those sticker-pasties off Sauce

Hairy nipples can be a problem... I empathise with you.. can I come & rip em off for ya?

welcome to my world.

I naturally have larger shoulders and look like a linebacker from time to time in certain t-shirts...
I feel your pain!!

I'm feelin a bit down today Sauce .....

my dress pants are too short and my shoulders got big ...feel like a 7 year old that just had a growth spurt!! UG

pulled out all my fall clothes last weekend ... tad chilly plus I wanted to look a little less like I've just been dragged through a hedge backwards...

what in the world happened to my shoulders? AND my upper back?












this is yet another reason to keep swimming well below run and bike in the enjoyment stakes ....

are you kidding me....

If his shorts are that short how small do you think his penis is?

where do we start with this topic Sauce?

We were having coffee in one of our local cafes this morning.....

first the bad news ... I ever since I missed THE best shot in the world for tri and bitch my camera is in my bag.

the good news ... Sauce actually had the nerve to take the pic ...
BUT .. men's running shorts - there is enough to say about this to fill 10 blogspots!

thoughts Sauce?
(sorry the second one is outta focus - Sauce got over excited)

sauce's pre-burger warm up!

Yo Road! This is what I had earlier in the day before the burger. Is that a problem? Tried to keep it light!

looks like you are REALLY going to enjoy that burger Sauce....

SWIM - the first of three long posts ... bike next...

So this is the guy who 'enabled' me to swim in open water - first by actually teaching me how in a pool then after 2 failed attempts at open water swimming actually got me across Walden Pond!
in the beginning I signed up to do a triathlon... totally because of an old friend and her infectious enthusiasm for multi sports! "use these guys" she said (also because I was getting a lot of minor running injuries - cross training works!)

I signed up just a couple of months before you did Sauce - but was already committed in Sept '08 ... It took me 'till mid October to workout that I could not actually swim... who knew! but it was early December before despair set in! I could not even swim 25yds without choking - what kind of fucked up sport was this?I have so much respect for ALL swimmers now and ALL body shapes and sizes.... swimmers do tend to be a lot larger than runners... and I am as you know a skinny runner!
I ran, skied and biked a lot; thought I was as fit and in the best shape as I could be.. the pool was a lesson in much more than swimming. It was a humbling experience indeed and actually still is - today was the first day I made myself breathe on both sides and next time I see my triathlon pal/trainer (TPT) will actually have to come clean and tell him he is so right... he has been banging on about how I will not get any faster in the water until I am a bilateral breather - hurumph so my 1600 yds today even with a stunning 'left-side choke pattern' was faster than my past 1600 yd days.

From October right through to the week of our first tri July 27th (my nephews 3rd birthday:) I met with my swim dude (SD) every week.
It was tough - I had to learn to love him. when I closed my eyes it was exactly like being back in high school with my track coach yelling at me ... pushing and pushing me so far into anger that I actually started to swim a whole 25yds!
Every week I was NOT going back to meet him - how dare he yell and push like this? Who does he think he is? BUT the more I researched swimming and did actually think about my high school coach and the results he got from me ... I got even more angry with SD. How come he knows me so well already? Every little technique and drill he tortured me with was supported by a gazillion swimming articles. We didn't even chit chat much beyond me stopping every now and then to try to yell back - or protest in some way.
A neighbour of mine actually stopped me in the street one day - she swims because of a knee injury - to let me know that she, and a couple of other regular swimmers/hot tub loiterers loved my swimming lessons - they were hilarious!! ... Its OK guys - I can laugh about it all now AND actually like my SD
The turning point in our relationship came at Walden Pond .












As I said earlier TWICE I tried and failed to swim in open water - once at Walden Pond with 2 friends and the second time in a Max Performance Swim Clinic in Sharon (remember?) I was just going to try once more to transfer my new skills from the pool to open water.. and SD said he would come and help!!!
Fuck .. it was EXHAUSTING! we biked to Walden (approx. 18 miles) my brand new zoot wet suit in my back pack ... do these things really help with buoyancy? bloody hope so! they are not cheap! My suit also has pink flashes on the shoulders... hate pink but made my purchase with $$ and quality in mind NOT colour... Hmmm this had better work - I am 1 week away from NOT doing the tri!

At the waters edge we get 'suited up' TPT and I are both skinny runners although he is more confident in the water than I am he was still fairly new to swimming. We had 2 swimmers with us... I mean REAL POWERFUL swimmers (we need them so much - because of basic safety) so off we go one on one TPT with a girl friend who is also doing the tri with us but is an amazing swimmer and not a runner and myself with (SD) - incidentally this was the first time I had seen him actually swim - a thought occurred that we were 5 months into this swim thing and I had never had any confirmation that he could actually swim - Hmmm!
SD literally yelled my arse across the pond! STROKE STROKE STROKE he yelled (fuck) every time I tried to stop he pushed water in my face - Oh - and he refused to let me wear my wet suit bootees, I had had them for years - used to wind surf a little and they stopped me slipping on the board and anything nasty from nibbling my toes.
TPT and his gentle, caring swim guide turned every now and then SD was really going at me! 'you can do this' he yelled 'STROKE STROKE STROKE' My temper snapped one more splash in the face and he is dead meat.... SPLASH SPLASH SPLASH! no mercy .
I did it - took ages but I got across - at the shore I almost chortled at the look of concern on the faces of TPT and our gal pal - i think they were a tad concerned at how hard SD had pushed me and splashed :)
The wet suit helped so much I reckon it increases buoyancy by at least 60% LOVE it and its pink flashes...















we were on shore ... I assumed we would be walking back - I was done! oh - how wrong I was .. not even a pause and SD pushed me back ... 'STROKE STROKE STROKE' fuck!
wow whaddya know - it was just a little easier the second time... third time (YUP - NO MERCY!) he said he was 'right behind' me... I was half way before I realised he was not behind me !... that was it... I could swim in open water YEEE HA! I was the happiest swimmer at Walden that day... probably the most exhausted too! the triathlon is ON...

We went at least once a week , occasionally twice to swim at Walden - love it now... much more than the 2 places I swam for the tri's both swims were very poor, second last in the first swim and in the bottom 1/4 for the second- but like I said earlier from today I breathe on both sides and will do better next year!
SD still yells at me in the pool and I still get cross - but not so much.... thanks SD.... I need to swim 1.2 miles for the 70.3 Iron man in August... I've done the distance twice now at Walden Pond ... BUT its still a 'work in progress' Bring on the spring... pool swimming is like running on a treadmill - IT SUCKS!






After the event!

Yeah!... found a wet suit especially for 'southern folk'.....

this is the warmest 'gel suit' available right now.... could not find it at a decent price though Sauce... you're gonna need to keep saving and duct taping.. sorry!

they were one of my favorite places...

Indeed they are. Apparently, using the word "fuck" is frowned upon in J.P. Licks. Who knew? All I wanted was the hot fudge. From now on no more family establishments for Sauce. Adults only please!

but what about the family establishmet in Sharon?

the fine coffee shop Sauce? thought 'family establishments' like that were your favourite places? Huh! you did not mention it!!!

who needs a wetsuit.....

Yo Road! How could I forget? The best part of the day was certainly the motorcycle ride. Perfect day for it. Easy riding and good company. Although, I'm a good swimmer I wasn't prepared for the water temperature or how much more difficult swimming in open water proved to be. One has absolutely nothing to do with the other. It was an unusually cool summer with seven weeks of straight rain. Needless to say, those aren't the best ingredients for warm water. Given that I'm a Southerner you'd think I'd have enough sense to buy a wetsuit. Forget it, wetsuits are for wimps. This would prove to be my stance throughout the tri season. Boy did I pay for that in my last tri. Absolutely freezing in mid September. I guess life keeps teaching you the same lesson until you get it. Yep, you guessed it, I still haven't bought that wetsuit. Hmmm...will I ever learn?

Sauce ... did I tell you what my winter sport ambition is?

ready? its HUGE ....
by the time its warm enough to swim outside again I want to be a bilateral breather. YUP - you heard me.... that means lap after lap after lap of one arm swimming... its the only way I seem to be able to get a breath on my left side. I hold my right arm out infront at full stretch and keep it there- just using my left arm to swim with.
so far, if I concentrate really hard on keeping my right arm stiff I choke a smidge less...

so by new year I will have a bigger left arm and 1/2 my back/lats will be ripping out of my shirt!!
by warm water time my left arm will not fit into my wet suit..
any advice here? ... at all?

woah.. check this picture out:





















winter is clearly a time for reminiscing...
remember the first swim clinic we did in Sharon back in ... eerrrr ...was it June?
lets unpick that event...
we both had the day off - nice, sunny so off we went on your old bike..





















you suggested it and what a great day to exciting things - going to Sharon on the back of your suzuki (for those others out there this is Sauce's new bike...) and my first swim in open water after I failed completely to swim a stroke at Walden pond a week or so prior...

we got to Sharon.. met up with our tri pal ... the plan was to text when we were there and workout which coffee shop we would meet in and all go to the clinic together... EASY! one coffee shop in Sharon ... such a metropolis!.. sun shone so we hung for a short while

















time to get to the state park and get this show on the road... first we got changed in to our swimming duds uh oh .....THAT'S the loo!




















then we got together down at the waters edge... ... the water is freezing cold and we 3 are in a minority.. WET SUITS! we don't have any... panic panic panic now what?
just a point of note here - while we were looking at the water and psyching up for this thing (is gravel shuffling and kicking at the waters edge the equivalent of being a tire kicker when buying a car?) my ONLY smile happened when I was watching an ample woman struggle into a wet suit... totally oblivious that I would soon be doing the same jiggle pull squeeze dance.

man - this was a HUGE disaster for me ... the 'ample woman' turned out to be one of the instructors... they gave us a lesson on the beach




















talked about all the jostling and pushing that occurs at the start of a swim-race.. and how to position ones-self if a 'poor' swimmer .. woah.. let me on the outside edge of the group.. I'm just not ready to be 'jostled'... the instructor woman offered to jostle anyone who wanted it (I was struck dumb! she is 4 times my width WTF!) I have NEVER felt so skinny and white in my entire life SHIT at least Sauce and our guy pal are as white and skinny AND just as WET SUIT less as I am... BUT















it was fucking awful - Sauce just hit it running (she can swim) guy pal went for it too but did need to grab onto one of the 'support kayaks' for a short time - they were there to prevent the masses from drowning.. Max Performance would not look too professional if registered racers expired at the first hurdle.
this is Sauce... after the swim... champ or what?





















so they both completed the 3/4 mile swim... myself and one other woman did not! she was the one that kept us hanging around half naked in the cold at the start of the clinic by asking a gazillion questions! it was a nightmare... I think I swam 50 yards! seriously thought my number was up... and NO WAY was I doing this triathlon in 6 weeks time.... (don't worry folk - I tell you how I got it together on the next wet day) I became a bitter, angry and completely de skilled person....

I could not even bring myself to partake in the 'refreshments' or use the 'proper loos' I had not earned the right to do that. to be fair all 3 of us were disappointed at the outcome BUT we totally knew 'The Swim' needed 110% of our attention ... the first tri was so close...